Snakes can sometimes cause grown men to behave in strange ways, especially when boys give the snakes a little help.

Earl boarded the school bus as usual except that I noticed the front pocket of his bib overalls bulging as if he had a huge grapefruit stuffed in his pocket. As he took his seat beside me on the school bus, he pulled from his pocket a pint mason jar with holes punched in the lid. Inside were a whole bunch of tiny snakes. They were so small; they looked more like earthworms, except their skin was slick and shiny. Clearly, they were tiny snakes. Earl had found them the evening before in the woodpile beside his house. I guess he thought it was sort of a neat thing to find a bunch of tiny snakes. So, he wanted to bring them to school to show off to his buddies and anyone else that might share his excitement.

School buses arrive at school in time for a bit of socializing which created just enough time for a few boys to decide to play a prank on one of their teachers. Wouldn’t it be a blast to take one of the little slithery black snakes and place it in the roll book? Can you imagine the look on her face when she opens the attendance record and begins to call the morning roll? WOW! There was no particular reason for choosing Mrs. Henderson except that she happened to be the homeroom teacher and has the morning duty of calling the roll. Understand, we had nothing against Mrs. Henderson. We actually liked her. I guess you could say that she was just in the wrong place at the right time.

The bell rings and everyone goes to their respective homeroom. Mrs. Henderson takes her seat while looking down at her desk without opening the desk drawer. Then suddenly she raises her head and sternly questions the class. “Has someone put something in my desk?” There was dead silence from the class. In a louder voice: “Has someone put something in my desk? If you did, you better come and get it!” At this point, it was clear that some rat had spilled the beans. Whether or not Mrs. Henderson knew what was done and who did it was unclear, but clearly someone knew more that they should and worse, they had told Mrs. Henderson about it. The class was still silent.

I arose slowly from my desk and Mrs. Henderson arose quickly and stepped back from her desk as I approached and opened the middle desk drawer, flipped open the roll book and took out the tiny snake and returned to my desk. The class was still deathly quiet as I returned to my desk. Then all of a sudden Mrs. Henderson, ask “what did you do with that thing?” “I put it in my pocket”, I said. Before I could hardly finish what I was saying she was screaming, “Get it out of here; get it out of here”. I started across the room and past Mrs. Henderson’s desk, when she again jumps from her chair and says, “no, no, don’t bring it by my desk. Take it out the door”. Mrs. Henderson gained her composure as I returned to the still quiet room. She hurriedly called the roll and the class dismissed for first period typing class.

We had barely begun typing class when Mr. Fulbright, the school principal came to the door, motioned for the teacher to step outside into the hall. Within just a minute or two, the teacher and Mr. Fulbright returned to the room when I heard my name called. “Billy, will you please go with Mr. Fulbright to the office.” A short conference ensued, most of which I don’t remember except for the last remarks, “What do you think your daddy will have to say about this if I expel you from school for about 3 days ?”. My answer must have been something like “I don’t know”. Because I remember the response “ Well, I think we’ll just go visit with him and see what he thinks”. The ride out to Myricks Mill was the longest 8 mile ride in my life. On the way, I don’t remember a word being said.

As we entered the store, Daddy was behind the counter with a puzzled look on his face. After a brief greeting, Mr. Fulbright began to tell Daddy about the whole thing. It was just about more than Daddy could take. He began to snicker then quickly suppressed it as Mr. Fulbright replaced his own slight smile with a forced frown. A circumstance like this required serious composure, you know. I considered it a smile most welcomed.

Looking back, there was one serious regret; My classmates weren’t there to watch two grown men doing their play-acting best to keep a frowny face on the matter. They were far more entertaining than watching Mrs. Henderson jump around her desk just 2 hours before.

©2003 - William C. Humphries, Jr.